Wednesday Wisdom: Spending and Living Simply "South of the Haimish Line"

{Wednesday Wisdom is a series designed to connect you with financial wisdom from around the web to help you save and live more wisely with less.}

 Wednesday Wisdom: Great tips and insight from LearnVest on how to live more simply and consider living more with less.

How to Spend 

"South of the Haimish Line"

                                     Posted on November 25, 2011 by Maria Lin

Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the “Haimish Line.” The Haimish Line is an invisible line sometimes crossed when you go from spending less to spending more—in doing so, Brooks contends, you often sacrifice warmth and connection to attain luxury and space. According to Brooks, “haimish” is a Yiddish word that suggests “warmth, domesticity and unpretentious conviviality.”
An exclusive, white-tablecloth, four-star restaurant where servers disappear and diners are on their Blackberries would be north of the Haimish Line. A small, casual diner on the corner bustling with loud conversations from neighborhood folks talking over each other would be south of the Haimish Line. A new dorm building with a shiny, new, unused lounge would be north of the Haimish Line;  the well-worn lounge of ratty furniture that students veer toward would be staunchly planted south of the Haimish Line. The Haimish Line even slices across neighborhoods: densely packed urban neighborhoods where kids run home from school and and people have stoop conversations versus spread-out suburbs of isolated living in separate homes and cars.
Brooks advises that we learn to spend our money well and stay south of the Haimish Line.
I found this essay so compelling because money often buys privacy, space, exclusivity and “luxury”—all of which are the very opposite of “unpretentious conviviality.” In America, the picture of success is a bigger house (where the family is more spread out), moving to the suburbs (with more distance between neighbors), a nicer car (to be more vigilant about spills in), and flying first class (ok, so some things are not worth getting all concerned about “the Haimish Line” over).
Seriously, though, there is something to be said for not unwittingly losing the warmth of “haimish” in our lives as we grow in our financial prosperity. As LearnVest helps you tackle your finances (check out our Take Control Bootcamp) and increase your earnings (check out our Career Bootcamp), we also hope to help you to spend your money well, to stay south of the Haimish Line. Here are a few ways:

1. Buy a Smaller House

I grew up in a modest house in the middle-class suburbs of North Jersey. We had neighbors all around us, just a few steps away over a row of bushes in one direction or another. We ran around the adjoining woods with the neighborhood kids, played kickball in the cul de sac, and had barbecue get-togethers in the summertime. When I left for college, my parents moved “on up” to a larger, more luxurious house in a wealthier neighborhood. The entryway had dramatic two-story high ceilings. The rooms (there were eight of them) were huge and echoing; some would stay unused for weeks at a time. The plot of land was bigger, the large, stately homes more spread out. Instead of dinners over each others’ houses, neighbors exchanged waves from driveways before getting into their quiet European luxury cars and driving away.
I never grew to like my parents’ second house: While it was bigger and “nicer,” it lacked the haimish that makes a house a home, and a block a neighborhood. The next time you’re financially ready to change your living situation, don’t automatically assume bigger is better, or that a tonier neighborhood is the direction to move in. It may be what people expect, but consider investing in the things that truly make you happy about your home—there’s a good chance those things are south of the Haimish Line.

2. Eat Out at a Communal Table

Dinner out is often a treat, but for some reason we usually equate a nice dinner with a north-of-the-Haimish-Line fine restaurant, replete with white tablecloths, spaced-out tables and hushed service. Next time you go out, look for a great restaurant with a communal table, a trend that a lot of restaurants are embracing. A communal table is a long table, often in the center of the restaurant, where random diners are seated to share. It is usually a much livelier place to sit, just from the effects of the cozy proximity of neighboring diners, and overlapping and sometimes shared conversations. If you can’t find a restaurant with a communal table, try a place where seats are very close to each other, or eating at the bar, where you can easily strike up a conversation with the bartender or a neighbor.

Where Do You Draw Your Haimish Line?

Does the pursuit of luxury mean that you have to sacrifice warmth? Weigh in on LV Discussions.
SHARE AWAY

3. Take Public Transportation

Cars provide us privacy and efficiency, but they’re not nearly as interesting as riding public transportation. One writer said that even if he made enough to have a private car service in New York, he would still take the subway for the fascinating people-watching. Take a bus or the subway, and share company with your city-mates. Or consider taking a train instead of driving on your next out-of-state trip. This retro method of transportation hearkens back to a time when a cross-country trip entailed communing with others; after all, there’s nothing more haimish than a group of strangers headed to the same destination, sharing a conversation or two.

4. Bunk Up With Friends

It certainly is a luxury when traveling to be able to afford a nice hotel with separate rooms for everyone. And if you’re a finicky traveler, this might still be the way to go. But there’s something to be said for sharing rooms, staying at friends’ or family’s homes (just make sure to be the perfect houseguest), or even shacking up at a stranger’s via Airbnb. The accommodations may not be as perfect, but in exchange, you’ll have more late night conversations with friends you’re staying with, local tips on navigating the town, and all those interesting moments that come with sharing your traveling quarters with someone.

5. Buy Some Cheap and Cheerful Items

When it comes to your wardrobe, we always recommend investing in quality pieces that will last a long time, as opposed to buying cheaper, more ephemeral items (check out our Priceless Style Bootcamp to get your wardrobe budget in line). However, quality pieces are often accompanied by more stress about not damaging or losing them. We still think the tradeoff makes quality items a better investment in general, but here are a few examples of some cheapies you can buy in the name of haimish living:

• a cheap pair of fun, dangly earrings to loan to your friend in a pinch if you’re both going out
• inexpensive slippers, towels and tennis rackets or bikes for house guests
• an inexpensive coat, scarf or cold weather item you might give to a homeless person in passing
• cheap art prints or decorative items you can use to decorate around the house, and give away to guests who love them (in some parts of the world, if a guest compliments a host on an item, it’s customary for the host to give it to her guest)

Haimish living isn’t about glorifying modest means or not enjoying the fruits of your labor. It’s simply the idea that money should be well spent, to bring more satisfaction, fulfillment and warmth into our lives. Spending south of the Haimish Line is one way to do so.

Why (and How) I Sell On eBay

I began selling on eBay over the summer when we had decided for sure that I would be going to school full-time.  After deciding not to shop for the next year last winter, I resolved that I would spend the year purging my closet of all the things I didn't actually wear over the course of the year.  I figured that if I didn't wear something in a whole year with no new clothes, I never would.  Once I started cleaning out my closet, I couldn't get enough of it.  I realized how overstuffed my closet was and how many clothes I wasn't wearing or didn't even remember I had.  It was actually embarrassing to think how long I had gone on with so many things I didn't need.  But now I'm off the subject - why I began selling on eBay.  (For more on my year without shopping, which is drawing to a close, read here.) 

I decided to try selling my clothes on eBay because it seemed a shame to just get rid of all of my clothes and things in perfectly good condition go to waste.  I decided some would go to Salvation Army or Goodwill, and others I would try to sell.  Anything that was faded, outdated, or in bad shape got thrown away.

Selling on eBay is not nearly as difficult as I had anticipated it would be, especially if you have a Paypal account and a digital camera.  Yet after a few listings, I realized that I had to learn how to really sell my things to attract the most interest.  I did a little research and learned a few tips along the way.  I am sharing these tips to help those of you who already sell but want to attract more viewers and interest in your items, or to help those of you who haven't thought about selling your clothes be encouraged to give it a try!  Most of all, if you decide to go for it, don't get discouraged.  If worse comes to worse, you can donate your things to a good cause and try again with something else.  

Find sellers who are offering similar items successfully and take note of what they do.

I found the most helpful tips by observing fellow bloggers who sell on eBay and other sellers who were selling similar items and getting them sold at a good price.  This is what I noticed these sellers had in common:

• They listed brand names first then followed with simple details such as size, color, and fit.  They didn't add lots of gimmicky phrases or describe how great it was, they gave the brand name and details that someone would be looking for in a quick search.
• If it is an expensive item, include the original price in the title.  This will grab people's attention and increase the likelihood that they will click on your listing to find out more. 
•  In the description, be honest about any flaws with your product, but also make a point to minimize them in comparison to the overall condition of the item.  I noticed that items were still selling if the sellers honestly mentioned any flaws in the item's description, but the sellers made a point of minimizing the flaws.

Feature a great picture - but you only need 1 or 2.  You don't need to have lots of pictures (this costs more) to sell an item - you just need to have a good, clear picture (or two) that shows the item's condition and a good angle.  Hanging your clothes up against a solid background is a simple way to make your pictures look more professional.  If you need to, iron the item and use a tape roller to get any dust or lint off of it.

Advertise your listings on your Facebook wall, your blog, or via your Twitter account.  Simple as that!

Offer reasonable shipping costs, even if they're less than it actually costs to ship it.  (Don't go too low though...)  Many browsers look for reasonable shipping when comparing items to buy.  Often people will be willing to pay a little more for an item if the shipping seems reasonable.  Buyers are also willing to wait a little longer for an item if the cost is not ridiculous.

Be honest about the handling time.  I learned this the hard way.  I tried to have a turnover rate of 1 day for shipping sold items, but I realized this often was hard to do.  I've found 2-3 days of handling time to be more realistic.  If an item gets sent out any earlier, the customers are thrilled that it came earlier than expected, which can only be a good thing!

Pay the extra 70 cents for delivery confirmation when shipping a package.
Buyers really, really appreciate having shipping information to track their item as it's shipped.  This is a small extra cost to pay for a happy customer!  It is simple and relatively quick to upload the tracking information on eBay. 

Give eBay a shot, and good luck selling!

I'm Going to Be O.K. (Lessons on Finding Contentment in Unlikely Places)

Today I started feeling twinges of discontentment.  I was feeling a general sense of unfocused worry - questioning whether I was creative enough, motivated enough, etc., etc., etc. - you know how it goes.  Or maybe you're blessed with a naturally content disposition, in which case you don't.  Unfortunately, I seem to feel twinges of it off and on occasionally during long winter days.  I shake them usually, but they still crop up every now and again.

So I went searching through favorite blogs and articles for what tips other women have for when they are feeling discontent and recognize they need to take better care of themselves.  I came across suggestions for yoga, going out to eat a nice meal by yourself, taking a class, and many other variations on these themes.  Yoga classes sound like something I could get into, I thought to myself.  So again, I started searching, looking for nearby classes that would fit into my schedule.  Ten minutes later, I sat back, frustrated.  Yoga classes are expensive!  Nothing was even close to fitting into our kind of budget.

So I went for a walk to get some fresh air and to try to inspire new ideas for myself.  My usually overactive mind was uncharacteristically blank of new ideas.  So I kept walking. 

As I strolled around a nearby college campus, I walked past its coffee shop.  Inside was a young woman sitting alone by the windows, singing to herself with headphones in while reading a novel and sipping tea from a paper cup.  Now that I could get into, I thought.  And then I realized, I can do that.  What's keeping me from walking down here and sitting in this coffee shop for a few hours, lost in thought and a hot drink?  Revelation #1.

And then I began to hit stretches of stairs, and the cool air felt so good, that I begin to skip down each one.  And then, I tripped.  And fell - flat on my face- in the middle of a busy college campus, students all around bustling back and forth to class, looking at me horrified, probably imagining I must be an over-exuberant freshman.  But as I got myself up, I started to laugh.  I laughed, imagining how I must have looked to this self-conscious college crowd, and for how good it felt to not care.  As I stood there, laughing, I heard someone else join in.  I looked over and saw an old woman sitting in an Adirondack chair on the campus lawn with a little dog in her lap, laughing with me.  As I looked at her, I started laughing harder - the kind of laugh where you start to feel so giddy that you can't quite remember why you even started.  Soon, a little old Asian man walked by, took one look at us, and began to chuckle too.  We stood there, an unlikely crew, laughing until we cried in the cold winter air.

As I walked back to my apartment, happier, calmer, more at peace, I thought to myself: I don't need yoga, or a massage, or an expensive meal to make me happy. (...Although if someone would offer me one of those things, I might take them up on that!)  For today, cool winter air, laughter, and some unlikely acquaintances were enough.  And I smiled to myself as I realized, I'm going to be okay.